“Since you asked the question, “Am I nuts to think there’s a war on Christmas?” it’s only polite for me to offer you a resounding, “Yes, you’re f*cking nuts.” Because, for whatever annoying local ticky-tac Christmas-abolishing story you and your merry band of persecution-seeking researchers can scour the wires to turn up, the rest of us can’t swing a dead elf without knocking over an inflatable snow globe or a giant blinking candy cane. For god’s sakes! Fox News itself is located in Midtown Manhattan, the epicenter of all that is godless, secular, gay, Jewy, and hellbound. And yet, even here, all around your studio, it looks like Santa’s balls exploded. In the olden days, before the “war on Christmas” the celebration of the birth of Jesus lasted a day, like birthdays do. … There’s a war on Christmas? Has anyone told Thanksgiving? ‘Cause this year, Black Friday, AKA Christmas’ opening bell, got pushed back a day to “Black Thursday.” Or as we used to call it: Thanksgiving. Christmas is so big now it’s eating other holidays.” — Jon Stewart, 12/3/2012
via reallyfoxnews
